Monday, June 1, 2009

Pirate Love ~by Juan

~Love can change you, and it can destroy you.~


One day when pirates ruled the high seas, there was a young captain called Greaves. Even though he had glistening long hair and huge muscles that look like Popeye's, he didn't know the meaning of love. He was a mean and cruel captain. He only cared about treasure and was selfish. This was true until the day he met Anne.
Anne was a beautiful young girl who wanted to be a part of a crew, she wanted to be a pirate. Since she knew they wouldn't let her in the crew as a woman, she decided to dress up as a man. Greaves didn't know what was happening to him. He was confused about his feelings. He had never felt this way, and he wondered, Is this love? or am I just curious about this new pirate? That question was wandering in his head, he couldn't sleep, but he couldn't stop staring at the new pirate. He was relieved when Anne confessed to being a woman. He fell for her immediately. How could you not stare into her deep blue eyes that look like the deep blue sea, or at her golden hair that looked like treasure.
Anne changed his life completely, now his crew saw a long-haired, gold-toothed, respectful, and kind captain. Greaves crew was amazed; they had never seen their captain so happy. Captain Greaves asked Anne to give him a chance. Flirtily, she said, "No," even though she loved him as much as he loved her. Captain Greaves kept insisting until one day she finally said, "Yes!" They lived a very happy life together.
Months later as Captain Greaves was heading back to Cuba to collect his child, a huge ship moving full speed bumped into them. Greaves's crew was stunned. They had been attacked by Blackbeard! His crew attacked, and in less than five seconds of fighting only Greaves, Anne, and Black beard were left fighting. Captain Greaves jumped out but Anne didn't. Anne wanted to end this; she was tired of Blackbeard bugging her. He made fun of her because she was a woman. He didn't think she could fight. He said she'd never win a battle. She yelled, "I'm ending this NOW!" She lunged toward him with her sword, only to find that Black beard had pulled his gun. She died in that duel.
When Greaves realized his love was dead, he jumped overboard. He swam to shore. He made it to shore and vowed to never sail again. He walked through a lot of people , with a sad expression on his face. A wise, old man knew something was wrong. Greaves needed company so as the old man got closer to Captain Greaves, he paused. The man asked, "What's wrong?"
Captain Greaves told his story.
The old man nodded and said, "It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all."
Captain Greaves' was heart broken in that moment. He knew the old man was right, but the pain in his heart would not lessen. He started to pour tears as if it was raining...hard. He stopped crying and wiped the tears off his face. He whispered, "Men don't cry."
The old man said, "Aaaah, but real men do."
Instead of listening to the old man, he listened to the mean voice inside his head. It kept saying, "You're weak. You don't have anything. You didn't protect Anne." Captain Greaves fell to his knees and yelled, "Black beard! You...you're going to pay!" He marched to a ship. Revenge was flowing through his veins. It was as if he was the cyclops, and in a single moment he killed the pirates guarding the ship. He felt a sting, but he didn't care about that; he was too focused on killing Black beard. He finally took over the ship and recruited a crew.
Instead of looking for treasure, he started the ship and went out looking for Blackbeard. After years of searching, he never found him. Finally, he gave up, realizing that continuing to look was a waste of time. Captain Greaves screamed, "Why? Why did you take her away from me?" His grief was suffocating him and not letting him breath. Once Anne Read died, Captain Greaves knew that he has lost a part of him. His life felt like a broken pencil, "pointless". Captain Greaves felt lonely and sad without the love of his life. While Greaves pondered taking his own life, he remembered what the old man told him, "Remember Captain, you're never alone. She is watching you right know, and she is protecting you. You're never alone; she is always with you." Thinking about those words, Greaves looked to the sky. A star shot across the sky landing in the ocean water. Greaves knew it was Anne. He dove into the blue, ocean waters. His crew always knew, "Greaves didn't die because he was old; he died because his heart was broken."

29 comments:

  1. You had a lot of great voice and great inflection as you read.

    The metaphors you used were AMAZING. His life was like a broken pencil. "pointless". WOAH

    The theme really stood out in your writing.

    Clay Humphrey

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  2. I loved the quote "It's better to haved loved then loss, then to have no love at all"
    ~ Cassandra Campbell

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  3. You had a great story! You were orgainized and had a lot of inflection which made me feel the pain. The quotes also made it a lot more powerful. You did a great job!
    Melissa

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  4. I liked your organization. I knew what was happening


    Tomi

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  5. The story it self was amazing. It was very strong. And the theme goes alog with it lik peanut butter and jelly.

    Brady Anderson

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  6. I enjoy your description of Greaves in the beginning, nice word choice

    I like the sad ending, it is very strong and well written

    My favorite part is the way you wrote Greaves reactions.

    adam

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  7. 1.( I really liked your organazation
    2.( I liked how you used quotes to make it better.

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  8. your story was very organized and neat and the theme was very emphasized. the quote was awesome at the end

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  9. you had good description on Greaves. Jose Hernandez

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  10. Very strong and you made me tear up.
    I liked how you made him change and that love beats everything and to neve give up.
    also the two wrongs dont make a right.
    I thought you made your point clearly and were very good at slick.

    Fuller

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  11. *Great story
    *It was very interesting and i could understand it
    *You were loud, slow, and clear.
    * Amazing, strong story

    Kameron

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  12. Your story was really, really, really good. I love it! I like the love that was in it. Really good story.

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  13. I liked your similies. I also like how you read slowly.

    Julio Vazquez

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  14. Cinthya Benavides-LopezJune 1, 2009 at 12:10 PM

    I really liked your story. It was a little sad, but it is really good. FROM:cinthya

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  15. I liked your disription in important parts it made the story powerful and intresting

    Cameron Campbell

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  16. Your story is amazing! I think that is really strong that I could understand the theme really well! Good job.


    ~Danicia Quezada.

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  17. I like your presentation because of your powerful word choice and feelings. Loved it!!!
    Stefani Cervantes

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  18. you were nice and clear and when you mist up you reread it (GREAT JOB)

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  19. I liked how you used the quotes in your story it made your story more powerful

    ~ Claire Andrews

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  20. Jaun,
    I liked that you were slow and was really clear. Your story was really good. Most guys wouldn't be brave enough to write a love story.
    Columbia

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  21. Juan, Great story it was very strong and had a powerful meaning. You were loud and clear and great organization. Your friend - Paul

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  22. I loved how strong the emotion was in your story. It also had great similies. You also re-read when you messed up. Great job
    Schuyler

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  23. Great organization. Your description was awsome it made your story powerful. Great story in general!!!!!

    Scott Mclennan

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  24. Sandra Tzompa-SosaJune 1, 2009 at 12:11 PM

    I loved your story Jaun especially your ending the sentence that said "He didn't die of being old he died because of a broken heart."

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  25. I like what he said your story

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  26. You had great similes.
    ~Amelia

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  27. you story was grate

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  28. I love your story nice

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  29. Juan - You did a great job on this piece of writing. It has it all: love, fighting, angst, and death! What is interesting is that your writing makes me feel sorry for Greaves in the end, despite the fact he was a pretty vicious pirate! Keep reading and writing - you've got talent!

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