Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sparticus ~by Cameron

Sparticus opened his eyes sleepily, but he was not in his bedroom. Where am I? Sparticus wondered. Then he realized that he was in his father's barn. He had fallen asleep again.
His Dad was going to kill him if he found out he was sleeping when he was supposed to be cleaning out the stall. He jumped out of the hay stack, when he heard his dad yell in a grumpy voice, "SPARTICUS! YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE SLEEPING IN THE BARN AGAIN!" He ran to the supply closet and grabbed the broom; a splinter stabbed into his hand right as his dad walked in the door. The pain from the splinter flowed through him, but Sparticus did not flinch. "That's good that you're working. For a second I thought you were sleeping," his father said.

Sparticus lied, "Dad, I would never sleep when I should be working." He turned around and smiled to himself. I have a great dad, he thought. He did not know that today was the last day he would ever see his father alive again.
"How about you go to the market and get some bread from the bakery?" his father asked.
"Ok. I'll be right back," replied Sparticus. As he was heading down to the market, he saw a group of Roman soldiers pass by. He kept his head down because when he was a boy, his dad would tell him, "When you're sixteen, if a Roman soldier sees you, you will be taken away with no warning." But Spartacus couldn't help looking to see where they were heading. He looked back and saw that they were heading in the direction of his house. I bet there is another house that they're going to, Sparticus thought, They couldn't be heading to my house...they just couldn't be.


Sparticus got to the market with questions still bubbling in his head: What are Roman Soldiers doing in are town? Why did they pick this town? What do they want? Do they want more people to be gladiators? Sparticus paid for the bread. First he walked, then he jogged, and finally he ran until he was home. Sparticus ran through the doorway. His eyes swelled up in tears as he saw his dad lying on the floor with a knife in his chest. Sparticus looked away. He could not look at his father again. He then woried, Is my mother dead, too? He heard a noise deeper in his house and thought, That could it be my mother.

He ran into the kitchen but it was not his mother; it was two Roman soldiers. They saw him as he came though the door. Sparticus stopped in his tracks as the Roman soldiers lunged at him. He felt a bone crack in his arm and screamed in pain. He felt every limb in his body go stiff as the weight of the two Roman soldiers pinned him down. He was captured.

During the fight, he had managed to break the nose of one soldier and give the other a black eye. They started dragging Sparticus out of the house, but he kept fighting back. Then he grew tired of fighting and just went limp, his arm still stinging from the battle. Sparticus woke up and found himself in a cart; he sat up and looked around. There were a lot more people in the cart, he guessed they too had been captured by other Roman soldiers. Then saw someone who looked to be about his same age. The boy smiled and waved, but then he looked away. As Spartacus looked around for the reason the kid looked away, a shadow came over him. Sparticus looked up; a Roman soldier was looking down at him frowning.


"Were you talking to that boy over there?" the Roman soldier asked Sparticus.
"No sir," Sparticus lied.
"Good," said the soldier. The soldier turned away.


Sparticus sat up after another nap and looked at a shadow far away, it finally came into focas and Sparticus then thought, Oh no. In the distance was a huge ship with a big flag on it that showed a gladiator fighting another gladiator in a big arena. After everyone had boarded the ship, it set sail. Sparticus was very worried now. Will I ever go home again? he wondered. When the other boy looked back again, Sparticus was the one who waved hi. Then, Sparticus quickly moved forward and sat next to the boy. Sparticus asked, "What is your name?"
He said, "Solum. What's your name?"
"Spartacus." They spent the rest of the trip telling stories about their lives.


After weeks on board the ship, they heard a loud horn play far away. Sparticus looked up and saw a big island with at least one hundred buildings. In the the middle of everything was a huge coliseum. Sparticuses and Solums mouths dropped; it was the biggest building they have ever seen in their whole lives. Sparticus and Solum were marching down the smooth stone paths with a least twenty Roman soldiers to their front, side, and back. Everyone came out to see the new captured slaves. The Coliseum got bigger as they marched closer. Then, they finally were inside. The coliseum had so many passageways that Sparticus was supprised that the soldiers knew were to go. They had been walking for a least a half hour when they reached one big wooden door. The Roman soldiers opened the door, and when Sparticus looked throug the door, he was amazed and very afraid of what was inside.

Inside, at least two hundred slaves, who had been kidnapped from their homes, looked very worried and nervous. Sparticus looked around and saw women, men, and kids. The soldiers took off the handcuffs and pushed Sparticus and the others into the room then slammed the door shut.

It was at least two hours had past before a guard came back. A man was behind him, but he did not look like another prisoner. He had a golden crown and a big black robe made of bear hide. He stopped in the middle of the room and said, "Hello young and old people! I will tell you why you're here in one minute."

"We don't need to know why we're here; just let us go," said a prisoner.

The robed man looked at the prisoner and said, "Then leave!"

The prisoner looked suprised and stood up and walked up to the door. But before he could open it, a dagger flew from the man's hand and landed in the prisoner's neck. He fell to the floor before he could escape.

"Now," the man said in a calm, mocking voice, "does anyone else wish to leave?"

Sparticus felt sick, but he could not look away from the man on the floor. He remembered seeing his father lying on the floor and started to feel as though he would faint. He sensed he was falling to the floor, pictures of the prisoner and his father swirled in his head. He tried to scream, but no words came out. He fell to the floor in complete darkness.

Sparticus woke up, but could not see anything. He guessed he was still in his dream. Suddenly, a torch lit the room and the same man who killed the prisoner was now smiling down at him. Sparticus jumped away in fright.

"There is nothing to be afraid of" the man said. "It looked like you got a big bump on your head when you fell," the man said again.

"Who are you?" Sparticus asked.

"I am Emperor Ramados". I have chosen you to entertain me!"

Weeks later:

Sparticus would not fight. He could not kill another human being. He had always been a good peson, never thinking that fighting was the answer to any problem. But now he was scheduled to fight in the colusseum. He was supposed to fight and kill another person just to give other people - those who had never fought themselves - entertainment. As if this situation was not bad enough, his opponent was Solum.

The night before the battle, Solum was pushed into his cell by the gaurd behind him. The gaurd said, "This is the person you will fight."

Sparticus could not speak. He had befriended him on their journey here, and now they were to try and kill one another to entertain the emperor. He could not do it. He would not do it. Suddenly, a plan shot up into Sparticus's head.

Before the guard could close the door, Sparticus jumped. He quickly grabed the gaurds neck "SNAP" the gaurd fell to the floor Sparticus was so supprised that he had killed the gaurd that he almost fell to the floor but caught his balence again. Sparticus and Solum ran out the door to the cell and turned down a corner then another corner. They heard yells from gaurds that found the body of the killed gaurd. Sparticus ran for his life he saw light get closer and closer till he burst through the door Sparticus looked back to see if Solum was there but he was not there Sparticus's heart was beating so fast that he thought it would burst. Then relief washed over him as he saw Solum come through the door "Hury up" Sparticus said to Solum.

"I'm coming" Solum said panting. Sparticus saw a fishing boat ahead he raced to it with Solum right at his heals. He jumped into the boat then Sparticus heart lept as Solum jumped onto the boat they ducked down behide the rall. A couple of seconds past befor a hole troup of Soldiers came racing past the boat. Sparticus and Solum quickly raced below deck. Sparticus whispered in an excited voice, "Where to now?"

In an exhilirated voice, Solum said, "Welp... I guess we will go where ever the water takes us!"

Sparticus and Solum smiled broudly. They were finally free, so regardless of where they ended up, all was well.

By ~ Cameron

28 comments:

  1. I enjoyed the irony of the plot,the part where sparticus and solum are about to fight

    I also how you potray the charcter's sense of morals and thoughts

    Great job on the action!!!!!!

    adam

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  2. I really enjoyed how you made it so best friends fought sand gave en a thought of what i would do if I had to fight my friends.

    Great action

    You spoke very well and smoothly with tone wicj amade it amasing.

    Fuller

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  3. *Great story
    *good detail and organization
    *great slick and slice
    Kameron

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  4. I liked how you used the word "SNAP" from the guards neck
    ~ Cassandra C.

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  5. I like your story, it was really good. Great Story!

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  6. You had great action.
    You spoke with great tone with the action.


    Anders

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  7. Great action and it was scary when Salmo wasn't there! Good athoures methodes and your voice. Loved it!!!
    Stefani Cervantes

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  8. I liked the description of your story and that I lied the way you started your story. jose hernandez

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  9. you amazingly explained SPARTICUS'S feelings and how he would not fight his only friend left! You had a lot of all the authors methods and your reading was awesome!

    ~Taylor

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  10. I like how he didn't kill his friend but it help him escape. Roberto ponce

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  11. great story really action packed you spoke smooth and slowly
    ruben

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  12. *it was a good story, there was a lot of action and there was a lot of inflection.
    Columbia

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  13. I liked that were loud and your story is really good.

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  14. I like how expline that story and I like your story.

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  15. You gave good description in explaining the history of Sparticus. Your story did have some great action and made it a little intense in having to fight a friend.

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  16. I loved that Sparticus had to fight his best friend. That was a great part of the story. I hope you make a sequel! - Paul

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  17. I liked how you made the emperor seem nice on the outside but really mean on the inside.
    ~Amelia

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  18. Sandra Tzompa-SosaJune 2, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    I liked your story you had great details and action.

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  19. I liked your you did a good job. You had good inflection. You did a really good job!!!

    Scott

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  20. Great story Cameron! You had a lot of action in your story. You had a lot of feeling and it made it more touching on how you spoke. You combined the action, feeling, and facts in a great way that made your story great. Good job Cameron!
    ~Melissa~

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  21. your story was amazing your tone in your voice was interesting when it was exciting your voice was fast and when it was a slow part your voice was slow


    Tomi

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  22. You were very SLICE and didn't make it gory or gross. The inflection of your reading was amazing. The thought of the best of friends fighting is a capturing yet depressing thought.

    Clay

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  23. I loved your story. I liked when Solum was thrown into the cell and was told he was to fight Sparticus. That Sparticus would not fight his friend at any circumstances.

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  24. I like how you did not put random lines or facts. It was well organized. I also like your inflection.

    Julio Vazquez

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  25. The comment above is from Claire A.

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  26. You had a great story. You used a lot of action and I loved it when he was going to fight his friend but then he escaped. You were SLICK
    Schuyler

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  27. Great job with describing the character's thoughts and feelings. Cool story!
    ~Danicia.

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  28. Great job on your story in during your presentation! You did a great job with your voice inflection while reading. Your writing has come a long way this year as a writer! Keep writing! You'll love 7th grade - it's all about your story!!! Keep it alive next year!

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