"They are coming! To arms men! To arms!" cried Henry, as the advancing army crept closer. "Archers ready!... aim!... fire!" Henry's voice rang throughout the castle. After the archers fired, at least 300 men from the enemy army were laying in the dust, stepped on by their marching comrades. When Henry's army of archers fired again, it was a wave of arrows as more archers had arrived at their stations. As the arrows rained down on the enemy, Henry could see the enemy soldiers fall limp and helpless to the ground. Henry was confident he was going to win this battle until...
His heart stood still as a stone when he saw the enemy's front line split in half and march two separate ways. In the middle stood at least a 1000 new archers. They aimed and shot at the castle. The arrows blocked the sun. "Get down!" shouted Henry as the arrows rained down on them. Henry ran for cover. He looked over his shoulder to see the first arrows slamming into the bodies of his men. From his cover, he could still see arrows raining down like a thunderstorm. By the time the arrows stopped falling, he could hear the crashing of swords and logs against the gate. Then, like the sound of one world colliding with another, he heard the gate fall, slamming into the ground with a earsplitting clang. Before he knew it, the sound of sword-on-sword battle flooded the castle, creeping up the stairs toward him. He heard the screams of his men getting slaughtered by the enemy knights. The stench of blood filled the castle. He was shocked that the gate would fall so easily. He was frozen in his spot, watching enemy knights flood the castle under him. He knew he had to react soon to save his men and himself. Knights started flowing up the stairs towards him. This was it. He and his comrades had to stand and fight. He took his sword from his side and jumped into battle, stabbing and slashing at enemy knights. Lifeless heads flew through the air as blood spurted from their necks. Fury flooded through him as he took down the enemy knights all around him. He felt rage flooding through him as he the battle intensified. He was light on his feet, energized by the fight. As he attacked another knight, he felt a sword slide through his chest, like a knife through hot butter.
Henry was startled as he woke to hear the sounds of his dream come to life... he heard the sound of swords and shields clashing together...the sound of battle. As he dozily walked from his room to his balcony, he saw a sea of knights fighting each other. But under all the knight's feet he could see the lifeless bodies of his fallen comrades. Henry thought he should try to fight to defend his kingdom, even though he was but a young boy. He grabbed the sword his brother had given him and his brother's old armor. He burst out his door only to see his father walking towards him and yelling, "Get back in your room!". Henry started to protest but his dad silenced him with a wave of his hand. As he reluctantly sat on his balcony, he looked down as the knights fought.
He couldn't find his brother in the masses. Fear shot through him as he wondered if he was still alive, or if his brother was one of the lifeless bodies laying on the ground in a puddle of blood. He shooed the thoughts away and reminded himself of the fact that his brother was the best knight in the kingdom. He made himself think that his brother was still fighting among those brave knights, risking their lives for their home. He hoped that one day he could do the same. But a menacing thought wondered around his mind like a mouse in a cheese factory.
Screams of terror filled the castle. But not because of enemy knights, rather the arrows were being fired over the walls. The screams died down and cheering started. Henry realized the enemies were retreating. They had won, and with every victory, there was a celebration.
Henry was just a young boy. His older brother Peter was a knight. His brother’s trainer was Sir Lancelot and his dad Gregory was king of Camelot. Despite all that, Henry was treated like a little kid. Henry had always wanted to follow in his brother's footsteps and become a knight. On some nights he would dream about becoming the best knight that ever lived and conquering all of the land around his kingdom. But on other nights, he had nightmares also about becoming a knight. There were disadvantages of being a knight. He had been begging his dad and his brother's trainer Sir Lancelot for years to start training, but every time he asked, he got the same answer, "No." And every time he asked, his dad would get angrier and angrier. This made Henry a very stubborn young boy. Henry would only last so long before he reached his breaking point.
During the celebrate of their victory, the breaking point came. Henry's dad held a tournament at Camelot. Henry's brother Peter was competing, and it was Henry's job to gather Peter's sword and armor for him. As Henry gathered his things, an odd thought crept into his mind. I am getting stepped on and pushed around. He hated the thought and quickly pushed it out of his mind. It seemed as if he was being used as a servant more and more as he got older. It was a depressing thought and seemed very true. His brother had started to make him do more ridiculous tasks, and this outraged Henry. He was determined to gain respect. He had to prove himself worthy some way, but for now, he didn't have any ideas and needed to get back to his brother before he got angry.
Henry decided to ask his father one last time if he could start knighthood training. When he approached his father, he asked with the most serious and determined voice he could. He was sure his father would approve, but to his astonishment, his dad started to laugh and said, "You are just a little boy, far too young to become a knight!" The words stung the sting of a bee. The words kept repeating over and over in his mind. That night he decided to create a plan B: sneak out at night and train himself. He was sure it would work.
As he got better and better at the moves he practiced, he taught himself harder and more sophisticated moves. as he got better and better at those individual moves, he started to arrange them into a sequence as if he was on the attack. one day he was going through a new routine when he saw a dark figure approaching. As it got closer, he realized it was a old man. Henry stood still as a rock and said boldly, "Who goes there?"
"My name is Merlin. I am a wizard who has helped your family before. I come again to help you now. I have had a dream, a dream of Henry a bold knight pulling the sword from the hand of the lady of the lake," Merlin said in his croaky but young voice.
"How could I do such a thing? I am but a young boy. All the most powerful kings have tried and failed?" Henry said astonished.
"You must believe in yourself. You must never give up!" Merlin said.
"You are just an old man why should I listen to you?" spat Henry.
"I am not telling you to listen, but to believe," Merlin said wisely.
Intrigued, Henry gathered his things and as he left Merlin standing alone in the forest, he pondered those words. He knew that older men were very wise, but what if Merlin was more than that and this was the path to the respect he had always dreamed of?
That night he reflected over the last few months. He had worked hard to become a knight. He had been so focused on gaining more power and respect, that he forgot about his actual life. Yes, he had trained with his brother and Sir Lancelot, but it only resulted in his brother pushing him around because of age. He hated this. He was tired of being stepped on; he was tired of being second. No matter what he did, his brother had done it first. How would he shine. Henry had trained and trained for months, but he was in the same place... second.
Henry looked for ways to prove himself to his father. His favorite way was to pull the sword from the stone. But he thought that if no king could do it then he couldn't, although that wouldn't stop him from trying. For some reason the idea wouldn't leave his mind. The image of the sword wouldn't go away. The image of the ghostly hand holding the sword worried Henry. Henry had no idea what the stone looked like, but he figured that the image was similar to the real thing. The thought stayed with Henry over the next few weeks, but Henry kept going about his business training with his brother.
Finally, he knew there was no other way. He would pull the sword Excalibur out of the stone. He could see himself pulling the sword from the stone; Henry knew he could do it. That night Henry was laying in bed when the Lady of the Lake appeared and told him that the sword was meant for him alone. He was astonished at first, but he realized that this is why the image of the sword wouldn't leave his mind. Henry realized that the sword was meant for him. Now Henry's main goal was to get out of the kingdom and go to the Lady of the Lake and attempt to free the sword from the stone. For the next few days, Henry tried to find a time to get out of the kingdom and go to the stone. But Henry could not get away from Peter. Ever since he had become a knight, Peter would not leave his side. Henry was getting annoyed by his brother. It was as if he knew his plan and was trying to stop him. However, he would soon escape from his brother and follow his dreams.
One day Henry woke up expecting his brother to walk in and ask to go and out train. But his brother was not rushing in yet. Henry was surprised, this was unlike his Peter. He walked over to his balcony and opened the curtains. It was pouring rain, that explained why peter hadn't woken him. Then suddenly lightning split the sky with a deafening crack. All Henry wanted to do was return to his bed like everyone else...then he realized this was the day. He ran to his room trying to gather his things under all of his possessions which was nearly impossible because it was like a sea of clothes. when he finally found what he wanted he flew out his door almost running into his brother.
"Henry!" shouted Peter.
"sorry brother, I'm in a hurry!" Henry said breathing hard.
"Well, watch it!" Said Peter in his angry voice.
Henry kept running passing the court yard and got to the gate breathing as hard as a dog. the guard opened the gate with a nod from Henry. He sprinted through the forest, trees flying by him. He had to duck so he wouldn't get hit by hanging branch. He got to the lake and he flopped down in the grass for a few minutes to rest. He stood up a few minutes later and realized it had stopped raining. He wondered if it stopped before he got outside because he didn't remember getting wet. Henry walked up to the water's edge looking for the stone. He thought he saw it a few times but he thought he must have been having an illusion. Finally he saw it. a big stone hand grasping the most beautiful sword in the world... Excalibur.
He looked around for a small boat and found one at the edge of the lake. There was a single row in it so he had to paddle in a weird way. He finally got to the stone to his surprise the stone and sword were starting to glow. He put his hands up to grab it, and it glowed more brightly. When his fingers touched the sword, the rock rumbled. He grasped the sword with all his strength and pulled with all his might. Excalibur slipped out of the stone with hardly any effort.
Henry felt a new burst of energy flow through him as he held the brilliant specimen in his hand. The sword was long and unbelievably light. He gently set it down in the boat and started to row to the shore. Half-way there he felt cold water touch his feet. The boat was leaking, Henry rowed harder and harder. He reached the edge of the lake knee deep in water. He leaped out of the boat with the sword in his hand. The boat sank into the depths of the lake.
Henry turned to walk back to the castle when he heard a twig break. He held his sword high and stalked forward. Peter appeared from behind a bush and nearly made Henry jump out of his skin. "Henry! how did you do that?"
"I don't know, Peter," said Henry still shocked from Peter's appearance.
"This Means you are the new king of Britain!" said Peter wile bowing before him.
"Father will never believe me," Henry said sadly glancing at the sword.
"I will make him believe," promised Peter.
"Thanks!" answered Henry. The two brothers walked towards the castle admiring the brilliant sword. The sword that would be used by the mighty king of Britain... King Henry Arthur.
by ~ Justin
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justin you had amazing vocabulary. it was so sad. you also had great C.T.F. I could visualize it in my head. I loved it.
ReplyDelete1. Very gory, but good story. Ha, that rhymes!
ReplyDelete2. You had good description.
3. You had a lot of dialogue.
1. You have very good description about what happens
ReplyDelete2. You have good characters thoughts and feelings
3. You have very good vocabulary in your story
* You were very descriptive.
ReplyDelete* You had good diologue in your entire story.
* You had all of the SLICK.
~ :) NiCoLe
*You had good description with the blood and stuff. YUCK!
ReplyDelete*Your theme was really clear, follow your dreams.
SLICK
SLICE: You did all of it!
Good job! I really liked your story.
1. Justin your story has great action the battle scenes made me shiver.
ReplyDelete2. Your story has great dialog and characters thoughts and feelings.
3. You kept eye contact and were very clear.
*you sounded like Henry was actually talking when you spoke
ReplyDelete*it was nice and gory
*it was really descriptive
*good ctf
ReplyDelete*I liked how you dicribed the arrows falling and smililes
*You had good action too.
1. Extremely great vocabulary
ReplyDelete2. Great inflection
3. you had great fluent reading
Tenzing
1. Good description.
ReplyDelete2. Good vocab.
3. Good inflection.
Dylan
*The description of your story was really clear.
ReplyDelete*I think that the theme in your story was very clear.
*You spoke really clearly with great inflection.
1.nice description of figting
ReplyDelete2.nice action for the fighting
3. nice talking loud
1. Great action and description.
ReplyDelete2. Very good vocabulary.
3. You read slow and clear.
Zeke N
*good job justin you did really well!!
ReplyDelete*you had good-vocabulary, C.T.F, and discription
*You nailed the SLICK & SLICE rules.
*your story was clear and had lots of good symlies
kenzy
*Good job using similies like as hard as a dog, or the sting of a bee, or like a mouse in a cheese factory!
ReplyDelete*You did a good job with inflection!
*I liked the way you incorperated facts into your story.
* You had good vocab. When you said slamming. Instead of hitting.
ReplyDelete* You had a lot of action i made me feel like I was there.
Slice:You spoke loud and slow and made it easy to understand you.
You had great description. Your story was very well written.
ReplyDeleteYou had very good dialogue.
You had really good inflection.
Sean B.
Justin,
ReplyDelete* Great story! You had great C.T.F. and word choice!
* You also had a lot of great action that ran through your whole story.
* I liked also when at important points in your story you paused and you waited to continue. That really helped me understand that it was an important part.
SLICK:
SLICE: You were slow while reading, you were loud, you had lots of inflection, you were clear while reading, your story was kicky and you had eye contact while reading.
Great Job Justin!
great inflection
ReplyDeletegreat loudness
great eye contact
Your presentation was GREAT! Nice job adding inflection and reading it slowly and clearly.
ReplyDeleteI love the connection between your story and your life. It makes your reader come to life and seem more REAL. I think the climax at the end - when his older brother is actually proud of him - is powerful. Isn't that the dream of all second children?!!
You worked really hard on this story and it shows! Also, your passion for reading shows as well. Keep writing!!