It was Tuesday morning in Manhattan, New York. Blue skies were overhead; it was a sun-shinny day. I had arrived at work early today and was logging into my computer. I'd worked for Cantor Fitzgerald for seven years. I had lots of friends at work, and best of all my best friend worked with me, too. My friend had a baby. When she went to work. she always left her baby with a babysitter.
I open the blinds for window of my office; I looked outside the window and at 8:00 is was already nice and warm. It was a beautiful day outside. The day was flying by as I had already been at work for 37 minutes. I looked outside the window again thinking that it was really a beautiful day.
At 8:45, a plane was flying by the tower. This never happened! It was too low. My coworker shouted, "Why is that plane flying by?" Nobody answered. Nobody knew why. Then we watched as it crashed into the North Tower. Fire exploded out of the building.
We all started running toward the door. I just wanted to get out. Everyone was shouting. My boss stopped us and told us, "Calm down. We need to think."
Looking across the way at the North tower, I saw people on fire. Black smoke poured from the towers. Fire trucks were arriving at the scene and firefighters were spraying water onto the North Tower because there was fire even at the bottom. We watched from the 77th floor. Thousands of people were exiting both of the Twin Towers. I watched people run out of the towers.
I knew I needed to get out too. I knew I needed to take my best friend with me. I found her and she said to me, "Should we get out of here?"
"Yes! We should," I said. We both ran to the elevator, but it didn't work. We had to go down the stairs, even thought it was a very long way.
"I hope I make it home to my baby," she cried as we started down.
As if no time had passed, a second plane came into view. It was going to crash in to the tower that I was in. Everyone panicked and started running. I started thinking of people who were in the top of the tower. Would they get out? I felt scared that we would not get out of the tower. Would we be stuck? How are we going to get out? Am I going to die? I wondered. I was also so scared that my friend would never see her baby again.
My friend was crying about her baby we went where her baby was but the baby sitter wasn't there the other plain crashed into the tower. She was screaming about her baby she saw the baby sitter going down stairs with the baby. She took the baby out of the baby sitters arms she told the women if her baby was okay.We started walking the sitter didn't go with us. We stopped and told her to come with us she said she was to old to run. I told her I would carried but she didn't come.
I was terrified. I knew I had to run in order to save my life, but could I leave these people behind? The 77th floor was filled with injured people covered with blood, and people who were already dead. I turned to my friend. She was bleeding and limping. I knew I had to save her. I took her baby in my arms and took my friend from her arm and started running down stairs she was falling down but we keeped running down stairs.
As they exited the tower, a policeman ushered them down the street. The TV crews were waiting at the edge of town. A cameraman asked, "How did you have the strength to carry her?"
She said, "It wouldn't have been worth living, it I had let her die!"
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Good defo and vocab plus action. I think This is one of the best story's I'v ever read about the twin towers! Good word choice and sentence fluency also your voice was great!!! Also sad! (But wonderful!)
ReplyDeleteStefani C
You also did SLICE!!!
ReplyDeleteStefani
You had really good dialogue.
ReplyDelete~Amelia
I love your slice it was great i love your ending.
ReplyDeleteI like you dialogue and SLICE.
ReplyDeleteStefani C
I like much your story is a good story I love your ending
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you changed your voice when someone different was talking. You sliced the slick very well.
ReplyDeleteAnders
*great story
ReplyDelete*Great slick
*lots of action
*Really good dialogue
Kameron
Yesica you did a great job on reading your story to us by not speeding up even though you where worried of reading to the class.Great Job!
ReplyDeletenice thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteamazing imagery, you had lots of small details!
Nice writer triangle!
adam
I really like your story. GREAT STORY!
ReplyDeleteI liked your carectores and your description.
ReplyDeletejose
i liked how you had the best friend part and you had good slice
ReplyDeleteruben
I liked how had a lot of emotions it made the story very intresting
ReplyDeleteCameron
I liked how you had the charicters worried, scared, and lots of feelings, WOW!
ReplyDelete~ Cassandra C.
In your story you had a lot of emotion whech made it very good!! (='.'=)
ReplyDeleteBrady A
I loved your onflection how ypu felt bad.
ReplyDeleteLoved your end
I liked your slice and i didnt realize everybody died not just adults
Loved your slice
your story was great
ReplyDeleteYou had a great ending. Your story was very sad also.You were Slick
ReplyDeleteSChuyler
I like how you kept saying how the character felt. I like how you read slow.
ReplyDeleteJulio
You presented such an unpleasant matter in so great a way that I was moved by your writing.
ReplyDeleteGood story. You had great description. It was really good.
ReplyDeleteScott
I loved how you explain the scene and and your thoughts and feelings!!! You were a great reader and your story was amazing!!! And I thought your story was going to be about a firefighter! But it was you!!!
ReplyDelete~Taylor
OH WOW. I loved the last sentence that it wouldn't be worth living without saving someone's life. I never knew that kids died in 9/11. I thought it was all adults. Great Job
ReplyDeleteClaire Andrews
died sorry didnt finish second comment fuller
ReplyDeleteYour story answered questions like, did only adults die in 9/11.
ReplyDelete~Amelia
I like your story it is really powerful!!!!! I was surprised by all of the description you had so NICE job with your story.
ReplyDelete~Danicia.
wow your story was col i thought the hero was a fire fighter.
ReplyDeleteYou did an awesome job Yesica! You did a great job reading and you had great discription about the morning and then to when the plane crashed. I also liked when you talked about your best friends baby and how she was crying out for her baby made me just realize that people all ages even infants died in the event, and it touched me and I now know more. You had an amazing and touching story, so great job Yesica!
ReplyDeleteI like it change many people belivings and all belivings and feelings too
ReplyDelete~columbia Eiden~
ReplyDelete*great story
Great SLICE
Yesica, that was a beautiful story!!! It was very sad, how the friend was crying for her baby and how the babysitter wouldn't come! Keep writing!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete- Paul
Great job, Yesica! You did a great job researching this topic and working with your group. You came up with a great idea...and look at what you produced! Your presentation was really good...great smiles, too. You have made a ton of progress this semester - good job!
ReplyDelete