This is a true story, not make believe. I hoped that I would earn my freedom, but this is reality. Often in tales the good guy wins, and evil fails. But not in reality. In reality, people die and evil often does win. So here is my story, a true story.
I have to get there! I have to get there! The thought filled my head; it was all I could think. Though I could not yet hear the guards footsteps behind mine, I wanted to get to the house as soon as I could and warn my boy about the games.
There was no time to think about my escape from the Colosseum. I could feel the burn in my muscles and the pain in my chest. I was breathing hard. I had to try to calm down. Around me the trees were whispering to each other, urging me on from the gentle night breeze. Dashing swiftly and quietly through the mud and brick city's dirt road, I saw that I was close. I turned one more corner and there it was. A single tear fell from my eyes. My small house; through the darkness of the night I could make it out. I knew this would be the last time I would ever see this house.
Another tear started to fall; I wiped it away quickly. There were other things to worry about. I could hear the guards footsteps coming closer now. I was going to be captured. I had to make use of these last minutes before they found me.
I was only a couple feet away from my house, so I jumped up onto the porch and ran through the doorway. The smell of bread and cheese filled my nostrils; I ran to my boy's room, and tapped him on the shoulder. He woke up and said in a shocked voice "Father, what are you do-."
I interrupted him before he could finish and said, "Shhhh. Now listen to me. Never become a gladiator! Do you hear me? NEVER! If the soldiers are capturing slaves, don't try to be brave. Just run."
My son was more awake now, nodding his head in agreement. "Yes father, I hear you," He cried. His eyes, like mine, swelled with tears.
"Now, I want you to tell your mother that I love her, and that I shall see her again in heaven." Tears now flowed freely from my eyes. I hugged my son knowing that this would be the last time I would ever see him . "I have to go now or they will take you too," I sobbed.
"No, please stay here, I don't want you to go!" he stuttered, tears running down his face.
"I'm sorry. You are the most important person in my life, and I can't have them take you too. Goodbye. I will never forgive myself." Those were my last words and I was out the room.
I saw the guards circling the house now, their swords ready. I figured that they must have seen me run into the house. I saw that they they hadn't covered the back of the house yet, so I hopped out the window and started to run. But before I took three steps I saw a guard running toward me, calling out my name. "Sonamax! Sonamax! Come out. We know you are here!"
I could see the guard clearly in the light glowing from his lantern. A silver, shiny suit covered most of his body, and a silver helmet protected his head. He had a three-foot long sword and a small round shield. Thank God it was night, otherwise he would have seen me. I picked up a large branch and hid behind a corner. I was hoping that if I could hit the guard hard enough, the blow would knock him unconscious, and I would be able to make a run for it.
I could hear his footsteps getting closer. I only had one chance to get this blow off. I saw one of his feet step into my view. As he walked around the corner, I threw the branch and it whistled through the air. Before he could harm me, there was a deafening clash and the guard dropped to the ground unconscious. I knelt down and my fingers touched something wet. I picked up the lantern and looked. I could see a puddle of blood starting to form behind his head. I picked up his head and saw what was causing the bleeding. There had been a rock right where his head had landed.The branch had knocked his helmet off and the back of his head had hit the rock.
It was then I flashed back to the fight at the Colosseum. The bleeding corpse at my feet. The crowd cheering at the death.
Just as quickly, I was back in my small town with an unconscious guard lying in the soft grass; his head bleeding, his arms and legs limp in the darkness of the night. I knelt down and checked his pulse, one of the only positive skills I learned in gladiator school. He was still alive. I grabbed his sword and started to run but a piercing pain bolted through my leg. I tumbled to the ground, only to find an arrow sticking in my calf and four guards approaching.
"Well, well, if it isn't Sonamax?" said the guard in front. "We have finally caught you. Hard to believe that you could actually escape the Colosseum. The guards were amazed when you where able to sneak through the barracks and past them without any of them noticing!" The guard was a tall man, possibly six foot three to six foot four, stern and hardened from years of fighting. But at that moment, he seemed pleasantly amused. By the look of his face, I figured he was in his late twenties, possibly early thirties. I studied the other three guards. Two of them were also tall, and by the look of their faces it looked like they had not smiled in years. But the last guard was shorter than the others by an entire head. "Come, let's chain him up; we have a long way to walk." They pulled my hands behind my back, and tied chains around them. They picked up the unconscious guard and then started to walk. I looked behind me and considered trying to run. But the pain in my leg was to strong, and they would probably catch me in an instant, so I just went with them.
Then the shortest one said, "So Sonamax, tell us your story. It will give us some sort of entertainment for the walk back."
I refused at first, but then I figured there was nothing better to do. I knew they would kill me either way, once we got back to the Colosseum. "Well," I sighed, "I was captured last year in 245 BC. I was just a regular man, living a regular life, until you came in."
"Me?" the man questioned.
"Guards," I said. "Lots of them. When they first started the raid, I had no idea what was happening. I saw smoke on the other side of the town, and people running and screaming. Then I saw guards riding on armored horses throwing nets over the citizens. When I saw this, I knew what was happening. I had heard stories," I sighed, "I started to run, too, but in an instant, I was trapped under a net, and I was falling onto the hot dirt road." I paused. I looked at the guards' faces. They were emotionless, the same as always, not troubled by the story.
Then the shortest one said, "Then what?"
At least he showed some interest! "I can't remember what happened then, I think I hit my head on a rock. I woke up a couple hours later, riding in a wagon. There were four other people on it also. They all looked very muscular and sad, as if something terrible had happened to them." I stopped talking. I could feel the tears coming. I blinked and held them back. I noticed the guards hard faces still looked emotionless. "Then, I remembered what had happened and why these people looked sad. I remembered the raid and the guards on the horses. I started to sit up but a person with dark skin and big brown eyes said, 'No. Stop and rest. You hit your head badly you need to let it heal.' I slowly laid back down. The man was tall, maybe six foot two or six foot three. He had a thick body, muscular arms and legs, and scar running down the side of his face. I fell back asleep and I didn't wake up until we stopped at the gladiator school."
It was a big, brick building with very few windows. We were taught to fight each other using wooden swords, and blunt iron objects. We trained with an instructor. The instructors were mostly past gladiators who won their freedom in the Gladiator games. They told us of great fights and victories. I heard that once a man had to fight his own brother to the death! Anyway, the training went well. I was better than I thought I would be. Everyone said I was a natural, able to do all the strike attack movements easily. I relaxed and began to enjoy myself until I had my first fight the Colosseum. It was at the end of the fight..." I paused sucking up the tears and recollecting myself.
"I was fighting a bigger man, possibly six foot eight of six foot seven. Had a broad face and a beard and dark blue eyes. And as I said it was at the end of the fight. I lunged my sword straight at his stomach but he blocked it with his shield. He pushed me back with his shield, took a step back and swung a blow at my head, I ducked, took a step to my left, and swung my sword at his wrist. It hit, and blood pulsed out. He dropped his sword in shock and tried to cover the wound. He was defenseless and his life was in my hands. I looked at the emperor; he was contemplating. He stuck his hand out and put a thumb down. The crowd roared. I knew what I had to do. I raised my sword and brought it down on his neck. It was then that the enormity of what I had done hit me. I saw the man laying there; his face pale and his body motionless. I knew that man probably had a family and dreams. And I had ended them with one quick stroke. After that I went crazy thinking of what I did. I didn't want to believe I was a killer but I was. From that moment on, there was always something to remind me of what I had done. I thought about committing suicide, but I could never bring myself to do it. It didn't take long until I knew I had to worn my boy about the games."
"Yes, I was wondering how you could have escaped."
One of them said, "Then I shall tell you."
I said, "It is quite simple actually. I had studied and devised a plan. In the morning I found a rag and wrapped it around my leg. I will tell you why I did this later. I figured out that at mid day the guards would go for their meal. At the same time a man would walk through the barracks giving food to the gladiators through the bars of the cells. The Gladiators had to stick their hands out for the man to give them food. When he saw me sitting in a chair away from the bars he asked me why I wasn't standing at the bars like the others. I told him that my leg was injured and that he would have to come give it to me. I showed him the bandage wrapped around my leg. He took out a key, opened the gate, and walked over to give me the food. When he did, I punched him in the stomach and then slammed his head in the wall. I made sure he was alive, then made a run through the opened gate." I looked at the guards. "I assume someone had to see me, or you wouldn't be here." I said. I looked ahead and saw we were arriving at the Colosseum.
"Killing was not like I had been told. There was no glory, no pride. Instead I felt like a thief. I had taken all that man's hopes and all that man's dreams for nothing. All his dreams had vanished in a flash. And he was innocent.
"I wish I had never killed that man. After it was over, I wished I were the one killed, not him." The guards looked at me strangely then the one in front said, "Well Sonamax, tomorrow you will get your wish!"
I looked at him and whispered, "Thank you."
By ~ Paul
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I really like your story it was really good. You had good vocabulary and action too. You had good character feelings. GREAT STORY!
ReplyDeleteWOW I like how you started your story how you said that in make believe stories the good guy wins bunt i yours Grate STORY!!! 10
ReplyDeleteWow i love your story it is very sad and real. i love how you explained your characters. Wow
ReplyDeleteloved your beginning forshadowing that that evil often prevals.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting how you thanked the guard and
how you cliffhangered it.
very interesting how you didnt make your charecter a hero when he killed that one man.
Fuller
Great cliffhanger ending. Amazing begining about life not always ending up happy. GReat description YOu were SLICK!
ReplyDeleteSchuyler
your story was really powerful and touched me a bit. you read slowly and very good.
ReplyDeleteruben
it was really sad because how the man became a killer and from a inosent and he makes the story looked real
ReplyDeletePowerful story! Really good organization and transition. Great S.L.I.C.E
ReplyDeleteyou had a great story. Good transitions they transfered really well.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you described his story of the escape. It was really good i was thinking this was a real story because it was so good. NICE JOB!
ReplyDelete~ Cassandra C.
I loved your story it was really powerful. You described your characters very well. I enjoyed your beggining it was great!
ReplyDeleteScott
I liked your ceractores thutes and filings, and your action, but I rely liked your begining and it sorta rimed.
ReplyDeletejose
OH MY GOODNESS. That was amazing. The emotion was real. I thought it was very powerful how in the end he thanked the guards for giving him death. I really liked how he wished for death.
ReplyDeleteClaire Andrews
Paul, I am breathless of your story. It was amazing. Your organization was good because I knew what was happening at the time. You set the mood at about the second sentence. Your word choice was very interesting and you had an epic story.
ReplyDeleteTomi:)
I liked how your story connected with Tomi's in the line "I heard that once a man had to fight his own brother to the death!" It was a great, realistic story that drew me in deeply. Nice job, Paul!
ReplyDeleteClay
I like how your character dind not try to kill any one. I like how you read loud.
ReplyDeleteJulio
really liked how powerful and sad it was it made me want to know more
ReplyDeleteI liked how you said that storys always have the good guys win but in real life the bad guys usually win
Cameron
Paul, I LOVE your story it is just so powerful and sad you did GREAT at describing everything so your audience know what was going on. AMAZING story!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYour friend,
Danicia
Wow, you had a powerful story Paul! You had great description and transistions. I really like how you started the story when you said that in stories the good guy always wins but not in reality, that was really powerful. You also set the mood throught the whole story and it was truley amazing. I also liked how you made your character realistic and how he didn't like to kill people. Outstanding story Paul!!
ReplyDelete~Melissa
I really like your story because it's powerful. And plus when the good guy wins but not in realistic and stayed with that mood! Also almost for shadowed And fluency also good word choice!!! Liked IT! LOVED IT!!!
ReplyDeleteStefani C
I really liked how your story started in the present and the main part of your story was telling a story in his past. I thought that was really cool. Awesome story Paul.
ReplyDelete~Amelia
Your introduction is fantastic. It grabs your readers attention and sets the mood. You do an amazing job of not letting that mood go...even in your presentation you were very consistent. You should be really proud of this story. Keep it alive - it deserves to be shared with more people!
ReplyDeletePS Your comments during class were amazing. You took the words out of my mouth more times than not! You listen well and contribute to others. These guys are really lucky to have you in their class!
Great presentation, Schuyler! You inflection and speed made it really powerful. Great writing - you were very independent in writing this. Your vocabulary is amazing!
ReplyDeleteYou should continue to work on this story as it deserves a wider audience! Think about giving us more background information about the Knights Templar. Also - you could consider changing the font for the memories? That would also help with the transitions.
Your writing has improved so much this year, Schuyler! You should be proud.